I was in a pissy mood last night. I guess I am rather frustrated with life, but I keep pushing on. I'm frustrated because I can look back on all the terrible mistakes I've made. I think about how my life would be different if I had just resisted one thing, chosen another path back in the day. Hmm.. Need to contemplate more. Time for the playyy. I'm in it tonight as the little green girl. =D

Hey there,  hi there. It seems I have stumbled back this way. Not gonna leave you with promises of a regularly updated blog or anything like that. It'd be cool, but I'm just too inconsistent. I don't know what I want.. GOING CRAZY

Hello there. Here I am again, trying for once to actually keep a somewhat updated blog, which is something I've never been consistent with in the past. What to talk about? Hrrrmmm...

Well, It's my birthday on tomorrow. That's pretty exciting. I don't have any real plans thus far except hanging out with Chris,which, of course, will be wonderful. Chris got me a peppermint ice cream cake from the local creamery in town called Cowlicks. They carry peppermint ice cream year round which makes me super happy because I am a big fan of peppermint shakes. Plus the ice cream there is fucking awesome. =D

We are also planning on going out for Mexican food, which is my favorite. There are so many good Mexican restaurants around here. It's on par with Chinese restaurants in Philly, and, unfortunately, the Chinese restaurants here are about on par with Mexican restaurants there.Also, we only have three of them. hahaha xD

It's kinda funny, people have been like, "Alyssa, if you're going to blog, why would you pick up Xanga again? It's so dead!" Well, my reasoning is that only the people who actually give a shit about reading about my life will take the time to click into my post on Facebook of my Xanga blog, whereas if I were to make it a note, people might browse through it casually. I just feel a little more comfortable talking about my life here.

Its weird, getting this college thing going. I didn't realize how mad I actually was at myself for letting my education start to slip away. I mean, I'm really glad I got my GED so that I could pick up again, but it's been almost two years since I was in any kind of formal educational system. That's a pretty big break. I hope that I am better at applying my efforts now. I'm pretty sure I've got the responsibility thing on lock-down now, though. Been working on getting my shit together in the last two years since high school ended. I was a fucking mess back then. I'm so glad that I've finally started getting it together.

So, assuming everything goes according to plan, look out Temple University, here I come. My goal is to start by taking a fall semester at College of the Redwoods here in Fort Bragg, and moving to Philadelphia at the end of the semester. I am very excited because I miss my friends from Philly like crazy. Maybe 'cause it's summer, but they're all hanging out like the old days almost, and I am not there to hang out with them, and it has been making me sad. I'm hoping to get back in time to throw a kick ass New Years party, so if you've got the space, lets start planning. =D

Man, now I'm back to being astonished at how long it's been since high school. I was just out of high school when I was last updating until previously. I worked at KB Toys for a while, until they went out of business, actually. I got a great new job shortly after that, and then I fell asleep during training. Well, that was the end of that. Later that night I got kinda drunk and was out on the streets because my friend's dad had kicked me out and I was homeless at the time. So I called my mom and she bought me a plane ticket to California. I've been here ever since. Now, I was only supposed to be here for two weeks. My mother bought my ticket and promised to send me home. That was not what happened. I don't want to get into any kind of accusations or ill tempered feelings, but I would like to say that I wasn't intending on living in California for almost two years. It's been an amazing journey, though, and I've never been in a place so beautiful. Some of the things I've seen here have made me feel so serene and at one with nature it's incredible. I'm so happy to have experienced it.

In California, I have also met some incredible people. I have a few amazing friends here, and I'm really happy to have them in my life. They've helped me with many things, the predominate is just helping me keep my shit together while I got my head straight, which, let me tell you, was no simple process. I had a lot of shit to work through, and I am a much better person because of that. Thank goodness.

I have recently met a really awesome writer who is starting up her own film company, and I will soon be auditioning for a couple of her pieces. This is something I am super excited about, and hopefully will be a project that we can wrap up before I move... >_<  I'll totally keep you posted, cause it's a very wonderful prospect. Plus, I kinda think it'd be cool to make myself an IMDb page. xD

Anyway, I think I'm about to be done with this blog. I've been rambling on for a while. I'll be back soon. ^_^

Byes!

That seems to be the way with everything these days. You never know what you'll get until the very last second, and it's rarely what you expect. Things seem to be getting better, sort-of. Complications stay arisen, but they're less than it seemed. Is this loss that terrible? I mean, is it so bad not to want to mourn the loss of a friend who was hardly friendly? No, they are not dead, just, lost to me, perhaps forever. I don't know how upset I am over this. I'll figure it out. All I know is you make me happy. That's all I want. So guys, I'm going away for Thanksgiving. Monday to Monday. I'm missing all of my friends coming back from college. It sucks. That's fine in a way though, because they'd probably want to hang out with someone who I'm no longer getting along with, which would make things awkward. We don't want that. So that's all. Love you guys

Love life..... *sigh* Why are things always so complicated? *sigh* Oh well, I must trudge on. 'you can't be "reminded" per se of someone you're always thinking about' <3